Atenean Chris Tiu on the Chastity talk of Jason Evert
March 18, 2011 2 Comments
A Moment of Conversion
by Chris Tiu (AMDG blog)
I never could have imagined myself attending a chastity talk, although I am a believer of chastity and purity. But one thing led to another and I found myself at SMX two Sundays ago seated right at the back of a chastity speaker himself, Jason Evert! I had no idea what he looked like. All i knew was that he was American. And because the person in front of me was the only blond person I saw in the jam-packed SMX , I figured it was him.
Honestly, my understanding was that it was going to be a talk about love and relationships, not about chastity. I also heard really positive feedback from his prior speaking engagements upon arriving to the Philippines just 2 days before. Hence, I decided to listen and pick his brains.
The program started with a Holy Mass. After which, I was introduced to Jason by a friend of mine and we spoke for a bit. Jason must have read what was going on in my mind and so he picked me as a volunteer at the beginning of his talk. He wanted to start his talk with the question, “how far is too far” in a relationship. And to illustrate his point, he made me put on a “lady gaga” wig and acted out as if we were on a date. And in an instant, he lifted me upon his shoulders! One hand supporting me, and one hand holding the mic! Deep inside, I was thinking, Wow! This guy is strong! I stand at 5’11 and Jason was just about 5’7. He was probably 30 lbs. lighter than me. Then he lifted me towards the end of the stage and asked me if he should still go on. Of course, i said NO! And he took me down and thanked me for volunteering!
So what’s his point? The point is not to put our loved ones in danger. He said that asking “how far can I go with a girl without sinning” can be put more positively into “how far can I go with a girl in protecting her innocence”. Think of it this way. He invited us to think of our future wife who may be dating another guy right now. How far do we want that guy to go with her? It is like Stephen Covey’s “thinking with the end in mind”, the end here being marriage. Then he said “girls, do not allow a guy to lift the veil of your body before he lifts the veil in your head–in marriage.”
To illustrate his point further he cited statistics in the US which says that those who married as virgins has a divorce rate of 70% less than those who were not. This was taken from a 700-page book research in the US with the largest survey respondents.
What made me think deeper was his analogy of our love for our future wife with the love of Christ for the Church. He quoted St Paul’s letter to the Ephesians. I couldn’t help but think of Mel Gibson’s the Passion of the Christ when he described how Jesus suffered for us, His Church, His Bride. He said that that’s how much we have to be willing to suffer for our future wife. And part of that sacrifice is to live a chaste life now. We need to free ourselves so that we can love!