Archive for August 11th, 2009
Monk’s hobbit has been actively blogging this past weeks. I am feeling burnt out. It has been a while since I have really rested. I feel that I am becoming a part-time teacher and a part-time blogger; I have left my beloved equations. I miss the times when I am just deriving equations for several hours. I watched expectantly how my equations seem to take a life of its own, as I counted the hours by the number of my pages of work, until I reach the end of my labors and box the final answer with a red pen.
But it is not really the equations I miss. I miss the silence, even the silence in not hearing other people speak through their blogs. I daily go to mass, but I feel I need to just be alone and reflect on the questions of St. Ignatius: What have I done for Christ? What am I doing for Christ? What more can I do for Christ. I am already halfway to death, considering that the average life span is 65 years. I am in my midlife crisis.
I remembered St. Jean Vianney. He too wanted to just be alone to pray, but his priestly duties forbade him from escaping to the monastery. I don’t know how long I can really be alone until my duties demand my presence. May Our Lady grant me graces this August 15, the Feast of Our lady’s Assumption. O Mama! Help me, Mama!
In silence I shall finish a painting for a parting friend. It is a pastel (and baby oil) portrait of Our Lady of Guadalupe. My last painting was seven years ago, also for a parting friend; it was their family portrait. I also painted Our Lady of Guadalupe for my scholarship benefactor in college and for my mother after her death. It seems that I could never paint unless I face death.
- God grant me the serenity
- To accept the things I cannot change;
- Courage to change the things I can;
- And wisdom to know the difference.
- Living one day at a time;
- Enjoying one moment at a time;
- Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
- Taking, as He did, this sinful world
- As it is, not as I would have it;
- Trusting that He will make all things right
- If I surrender to His Will;
- So that I may be reasonably happy in this life
- And supremely happy with Him
- Forever and ever in the next.