Monk’s Hobbit in Monastic Mood for a Week

Monk’s hobbit has been actively blogging this past weeks.  I am feeling burnt out.   It has been a while since I have really rested.  I feel that I am becoming a part-time teacher and a part-time blogger; I have left my beloved equations.  I miss the times when I am just deriving equations for several hours.  I watched expectantly how my equations seem to take a life of its own, as I counted the hours by the number of my pages of work,  until I reach the end of my labors and box the final answer with a red pen.

But it is not really the equations I miss.  I miss the silence, even the silence in not hearing other people speak through their blogs.  I daily go to mass, but I feel I need to just be alone and reflect on the questions of St. Ignatius: What have I done for Christ?  What am I doing for Christ?  What more can I do for Christ.  I am already halfway to death, considering that the average life span is 65 years.  I am in my midlife crisis.

I remembered St. Jean Vianney.  He too wanted to just be alone to pray, but his priestly duties forbade him from escaping to the monastery.  I don’t know how long I can really be alone until my duties demand my presence.  May Our Lady grant me graces this August 15, the Feast of Our lady’s Assumption.  O Mama!  Help me, Mama!

In silence I shall finish a painting for a parting friend.   It is a pastel (and baby oil)  portrait of Our Lady of Guadalupe.  My last painting was seven years ago, also for a parting friend; it was their family portrait.  I also painted Our Lady of Guadalupe for my scholarship benefactor in college and for my mother after her death.  It seems that I could never paint unless I face death.

God grant me the serenity

To accept the things I cannot change;

Courage to change the things I can;

And wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;

Enjoying one moment at a time;

Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;

Taking, as He did, this sinful world

As it is, not as I would have it;

Trusting that He will make all things right

If I surrender to His Will;

So that I may be reasonably happy in this life

And supremely happy with Him

Forever and ever in the next.